Soul of an Artist

Photo credits- Amina Live Foundation A sigh of relief. A breath of fresh air. A community of like minded people. It was the miracle I didn't know I needed. I don't want to sound like I'm overselling it or I'm painting it out to be better than it actually is. I'm really not. In fact, if anything, I am underselling it. Honestly, it was among my first major wins of 2023. Where do I start? Let's start from the beginning. I got the application from a Whatsapp group. You know, among those many applications that are sent, one just calls out to you. It was an easy application. They didn't make my work too hard like other job applications that you have to jump through 1000 hoops just to get to the application itself. But, I had to sell myself. There was a section where you had to write 100 words describing yourself. I'm a writer, that shouldn't be too hard right? Wrong. I decided, in that moment, sitting at my desk, in the kitchen, write from the heart. Don...

Photo Credit- Mark Manson I wish I was brave.  Brave enough to love you loudly.  I wish I was courageous.  Courageous enough to go after what I wanted.  You.  I wish I didn't care what they thought.  Cause while I cared what they thought.  They were busy doing what I wanted to do.  I wish I let them judge me.  Cause now I realize,  I don't care much for their opinion anyway.  And I lost a gem collecting rocks.  I lost so many moments, so many opportunities.  Hiding myself from you.  While all you wanted from me was to reveal myself.  We were a perfect fit, I see that now.  As I look back, all I feel is regret.  So this is what regret feels like.  The words unsaid leave me in a chokehold.  All I feel is anger and pain.  Anger towards them but mostly me.  And pain for the lost opportunities.  You saw me, I saw you.  But I was afraid.   I'm afraid it's too late for...

Photo Credit- The Dictionary of Female Feelings It's all vain. All of it. But it's the vanity that makes it interesting. It's the vanity we want to see. We want to hear the lies. We want to drink the poison because it looks good. It's the vanity that has a sweet scent, pleasing to the nose. Our imagination makes this easier for us. We can choose what to see. We can choose to be blind to what's staring at us. To what's right in front of us. We tell ourselves what we want to hear. Because it's easier for everyone. We don't want the truth. No. The truth is bitter. It won't go down without a fight. The truth stinks. It is ugly. It repulses all our senses. So we choose to wear our rose coloured lenses. But in doing so, we slowly rot. We decompose without even realizing it. Eventually, the smell overpowers us. Our rose coloured lenses wear out. And even our imagination won't be there to shield us.