Skip to main content

Fantasia




Shifts, can be scary right?

I get into ruts, often

My peers move up the corporate ladder

Maladaptive daydreaming

Bursts of dopamine

Try to get into old hobbies

Cannot sustain it

Mindless scrolling

Wishing that I could live other people's highlights

Loud music blasts in my ears eliciting various emotions in me

Escapism

But it all comes crashing down

And I'm back in my room

In the darkness

With the harsh brightness

Of my phone screen glaring at me

Just a fantasy

It's time for a shift

It's been time,

Yet I cannot 

I'm still stuck

Stuck where you left me









Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Enoq_with_a_k

I still can't believe it. Nobody can. Rastaman. That's what most people used to identify you as. But that's not all you were. You were a son, a homie, a student, a classmate, a brother, a friend and most importantly, you were kind and generous. You blended in wherever you went and it was easy to talk to you. Your calm and gentle aura could calm even the rowdiest of souls. Very clean always happy and didn't want to see anyone down. A good listener who always uplifted the people you met. Anyone could strike up a conversation with you and leave feeling a little bit lighter. Everyone liked you. And everyone feels this loss. When 2023 began, I never imagined something like this was in store for us. You were a friend of a friend when I first met you but then you became my friend almost immediately. I remember your phone calls needing my help to know where the venue of a certain class or exam was. Or when you needed a group for a class assignment. Back then I complained abou...
11 comments
Read more

So this is what regret feels like

Photo Credit- Mark Manson I wish I was brave.  Brave enough to love you loudly.  I wish I was courageous.  Courageous enough to go after what I wanted.  You.  I wish I didn't care what they thought.  Cause while I cared what they thought.  They were busy doing what I wanted to do.  I wish I let them judge me.  Cause now I realize,  I don't care much for their opinion anyway.  And I lost a gem collecting rocks.  I lost so many moments, so many opportunities.  Hiding myself from you.  While all you wanted from me was to reveal myself.  We were a perfect fit, I see that now.  As I look back, all I feel is regret.  So this is what regret feels like.  The words unsaid leave me in a chokehold.  All I feel is anger and pain.  Anger towards them but mostly me.  And pain for the lost opportunities.  You saw me, I saw you.  But I was afraid.   I'm afraid it's too late for...
7 comments
Read more

Invisible Doors

    Photo Credit -Amino Apps You know those people that open doors and don't close them? Especially the doors that keep the cold outside and the warmth in. The doors that when open everyone can see what is going on inside and it gets annoying. When you are comfortable in your room, deep in your warm blankets then a sibling just opens your door, inspects the room, touches random things and then leaves it wide open for no particular reason and when you tell them to close the door they are too far gone so now you have to get up out of your comfortable bed to go close the door that was comfortably closed. Well, that recently happened to me. But mine wasn't a literal door. No, I wish it was though. It was a door I didn't even know existed. The kind of door your subconscious closes shut because what is behind it is not that pretty. Funny thing is whatever is behind this door has been affecting my life seriously and I was oblivious to it. But I don't know if this person realiz...
2 comments
Read more