What's the Hardest Drug you've ever Done?

Photo Credit- Harvard Health

Weird question huh? Answer it. When I was young and wanted to experience life something like cocaine or crack even crystal meth at this point would be the most logical answer. But now my answer is completely different. There's a reason I haven't written in forever. When I first heard this question on the internet being asked, the lady's answer was sobriety. Because what's harder than facing your own life sober? And that got me thinking. What would be the hardest drug I've taken? And honestly I'm not that much of an abuser. But something I do abuse, are my emotions. And what's the hardest drug I've ever done you ask? Before last year my answer would have been alcohol. But now my answer is Grief. Grief is the hardest thing I have had to carry. And I carry it. Sometimes loudly, mostly silently though. It's changed who I am, how I look, how I view the world. Those rose-coloured glasses I wore all my life, yeah no more. And it's eating me up. Silently. Or loudly at this point. But what can you do? You carry it. It's your burden to bear. It feels like drowning and flailing around in a sea of darkness and pain. And you're not getting to the sea bed where you can finally get some rest. No, no. You're exhausted in a sea of nothingness. You don't know where you are going or how you got here. You just are. So some days I rest in the nothingness. Most days actually. Cause moving is more exhausting. But at some point you wake up and realize you have to move, with the pain and the exhaustion and the lonliness. So to the ones with the unfortunate experience of carrying grief, like the great man said, When going through hell, Keep going. And to my beautiful love Mila, Keep resting well My Angel.